Page Three Again
Page Three, take two.
As eager as I am to get rolling with this story, I want to make sure I commit to a look that I'll be happy with when I'm knee deep in pages. I also want to find a way to do this comic that doesn't take too long, because I work on it in my spare time.
This page is digitally inked and I've redone my colors, which I think look less muddy than my previous version. I've also made some changes to the drawing, such as I made the girl's hair more disheveled and I removed the man's mask.
If you want to compare the two page threes, the first version of page three is here.
Once I finish posting all five pages in the opening sequence, I'll announce the story title, set up an online archive of the pages and all that. Thank you for following along and being so supportive. :)
Comments
When comparing the 2 versions, I find the bat is much easier to notice in the digital one, and I also find his blindness more effective with the white eyes than the blindfold.
I preferred the warmer grey from the first one, both because the warm muddiness feels softer & more comforting to me (which may not be the feeling you want to convey the story) and the way the blue contrasts more strongly with it compared to the cooler grey in the digital version. But thats my colour preference bias (I love warm greys & muddy soft colours), and I have no idea of the big picture of the story. I am assuming, because you made the changes, that the new ones are more appropriate to the story, so I'm going with it.
But I love both and am excited to see this story unfold.
I think visual clarity is extra-important when you're doing a non-standard scene. If it's two familiar characters sitting across a table from each other, our eyes parse that no matter how cluttered the bg.
But since there are so many novel elements in this panel -- the bat, the strange shapes flowing from his sleeves, the shape-shifting -- it's important that they are very distinct so we can make sense of them.
It's developing beautifully. Looking forward to more. :-)
This is beautiful work and stunningly executed, as I've come to realize is a trademark of yours.
I've one observation, and I apologize if you are not open to such comments... feel free to ignore: I often worry about depictions of the blind that use too strong a visual physical abnormality to show the reader that they are blind. I guess I worry about how it might subconsciously encourage the reader (young and impressionable, or not) to treat the blind as "other" in the real world. So while the lack of pupils are striking and effective (and may well have a reason in the backstory) I wonder if there are other ways that are more subtle and as effective in this medium for depicting a blind character when you don't have the external props of the sort you dispensed with*. It is a hard task, but given how remarkably expressive you are as an artist, I have a feeling that you could pull it off if anyone can. One can imagine restoring his pupils but making them very pale... or maybe doing something with his body language (the gaze, etc?)... or maybe following the approach of someone like Picasso, who often put a lot of shadow around the eyes for his blind subjects...partly as a poignant symbol I imagine...
Sorry for the long (and possibly unwelcome) thought...
Best,
-cvj
*Also, pupil-less eyes have become a standard visual trope for depicting aliens in closely related genres... might throw your readers off track?
I apologize about being so slow to respond here, it's been one of those weeks so far. That said, I really appreciate all of the thoughtful comments and interesting feedback about the colors, tones, inks and the way I've decided to depict the characters. All great food for thought as I move forward. Thank you.
I can't wait to dig deeper into this story. Hoping to finish up page four sometime this week. The inks and lettering are done, it just needs some color.
:)
Thank you so much. It's good to hear from you and I hope all is well.
-Sarah